Crossing the finish line of my Testimony -- The day I placed my faith in Jesus

I'm doing my best to wrap things up here, but its hard because it is so important that you understand the components that led me to the moment "I heard Jesus knocking on the door of my heart" and the moment "I let Him come into my life, finally placing my faith in Him and welcoming Him to live with me, in me and through me everyday here on out".

So let's finally finish this. The first person I lost in my life was my dad. He died the second day of my senior year ... heart attack, all my family was there. Looking back, I'm so thankful it happened. One ... my dad was not himself, he was suffering and God showed him mercy and brought him back home to heaven. Two ... it was the climax that set fourth the change in the lives of my brothers, mother, and I that led us to Jesus Christ ... to a love that is beyond description ... to a "life" that is filled with truth, joy, peace, purpose, and hope.

After my dad died I was in a long relationship that meant a lot to me. During that relationship, I learned a lot about people and I watched myself slowly self - destruct overtime ... bringing me to a point of brokenness where I was hopeless, helpless, so very lost, and a place of weakness ... where nothing around me stood as truth anymore and I had come to a place in my life that was dark, empty, and lonely.

First, Jesus is with us through the storms. He stands by our guard waiting until the point in which we are drowning and we finally shout out "Help" ... then He comes in for the save ... because it's then, in our hearts, that we truly need him. Thank God for storms of my life, that led me to the point of brokenness. For if it was not for that brokenness ... my pride, my intellect and my "self-righteousness" would have prevented my heart from welcoming Jesus to come into my life. I would have seen no need ... like so many people do in their life. But Jesus came into my life "to set me free", "to show me the way", "to show me his love", and "to make everything right and provide me with the truth".

Wrapping things up (ask me about this in person and it will be a lot clearer), After my dad died, my brother and my mom had some "tough" times in the changes that would soon follow. At this point in time in our lives, the Catholic church became very cold to us (in reality we had just lived out a "religion" and never experienced the "relationship" that is meant for us in Jesus Christ) and we had pretty much no thought of God/Jesus in our minds for about three years (other than the seeds of love being planted by my Aunt Maureen, my mom sister, who was a Follower of Jesus).

One day my mom, ran into someone in the grocery market that suggested this "church" that was right down the road that "wasn't like a church", they described it more like the real deal -- a family type setting of people passionate/real about Jesus.

So my mom went to Calvary Chapel one day, and her "depressed" spirit was lifted, and she re-dedicated her faith to Jesus and her life became amazingly uplifting -- with joy, hope and such (you really had to see my mom's change in order to experience the full out impact). At the same time, God had also healed my brothers deterioration and He was getting better as time went on.

Still, looking at myself, I was at a place of great darkness and despair in my life. I wanted nothing to do with "God" or this "Jesus" thing. I was very happy for my mom, but I still was trying to take charge and become the "saviour for my brother/family".

But ya know what, in reality, I can't save anybody. I couldn't save my family, heck I couldn't even save myself. Only Jesus saves. Only Jesus can soar into your life and bring you out of whatever darkness, past hurt, or feeling of despair or loss you may have. Only Jesus has the power to save.

So time past, my relationship came to a horrible end, and I was broken. I had access to other girls and sex ... but it wasn't making me happy ... I was still empty. I had my marijuana ... but ya know what, still wasn't happy ... I was still empty. Then I had my ego ... crushed, I didn't even know who I was anymore, I was just a facade ... a big lie. Then there was my poker ... I went to AC, went up about $800 in an hour and with tears dripping down my face at about 3 in the morning, I was still unhappy, I was still lost, I was still hopeless, and I was still empty (the money meant nothing to me).

A few days later, it was Easter. It was my 3rd or 4th time at Calvary Chapel ... and for the first time in my life, my heart was open to listen. In the past I had eyes that could see ... but they were blind, and ears that could hear ... but did not listen. This service on Easter was the first time I actually "understood" what Jesus was and is, the first time I understood the resurrection, and the statement by Jesus that "He is the way , the truth, and the life and that NO ONE goes to heaven except through Him".

It was the first time I realized that I had no hope. I believed in nothing ... and if I died that day ... I wouldn't be confident saying that I knew where I was going, and I had no confidence in saying "I knew who I was".

It was that day on Easter, that Jesus came to me. For the first time in my life (probably many others but I did not listen) I heard Him knocking on the door to my heart. Destiny swept my soul. My entire life had streamed up to this exact moment ... the only meaningful moment in my life ... the moment I placed my faith in Jesus. I finally knew who I was, and the reason for everything. Out of the darkness I finally saw the light and the path He laid before me. I heard Jesus knocking and I was fight within, but I was to afraid to say "NO, Go away", so I let him in. During the prayer at the end of the service, when Pastor John did the somewhat "altar call" but different, I took my leap of faith and was the lone person that placed there faith in Him (saved) that service. I've been blessed enough that it was recorded, so I can always go back on the website and listen to that service and remember the most important day of my life -- placing my faith in Jesus and welcoming Him into my life.

In all truth, I placed my faith in Him that day, but I didn't have some miraculous change over night. Overtime, He did the work within me, to grow me up, to show me who He is, and to strengthen my relationship with Him. All I did ... was choose to believe in Him and it was the best choice I have ever made in my life. I know who I am now --- A Child of God. Overtime ... all the anger, depression, hurt, and addictions faded away. Jesus removed them all. I struggled with letting them go ... but those things could never compare to the Love I have in this relationship with Jesus Christ. Its more than a feeling, its a truth.

So as "spider webbed" as that testimony was, it still is my testimony of how the Love of God ... always stood by my side, it never left me. That even through all my sin, his love never changed. I did not seek out Jesus, rather He sought out me, and chose me to "come and follow Him". He chose me to be "a child of God". I was a very sinful person, but now I stand in the blood of Jesus Christ, knowing my sins (past present and future) are all forgiven, and that I will forever have a relationship with God and eternal life through Jesus Christ.

All I did was BELIEVE and LOVE. Jesus desires you to ... take the leap of faith ... and discover the life of love you were made for through a relationship, not a religion, with Jesus Christ. God bless. I have faith in you and in Jesus. Amen

No matter how deep the pit your in, Remember that the Love Jesus Christ has for you is even deeper, and He can pull you out, all you have to do is ask, all you have to do is believe.