Testimony - Part 1 - The double nature -- Love of God vs Sinful man

This is my Testimony about the Love of Jesus Christ -- The Love that has set me free -- Giving me New Life; Eternal Love (Life)and Relationship with the One True God that created me.
The saying is true, "Things have to get worse, before they can get better".

From the moment I was conceived, God's loving hand was upon me. I've been blessed every breath of everyday. (Telling my testimony is so hard, its alot easier in person, so feel free to ask me any time ... typing it out is very difficult, don't believe me, you try it :) )

But being blessed didn't guarantee sinless perfection. Being blessed didn't guarantee eternal life in Heaven. Being blessed did not guarantee anything, except God's presence continually at my side. But based on the barrier of sin, the wall that plagues the lives of human beings and myself, separated my ability to have a relationship (eternal) with Him and without that relationship ... life and love cannot be complete, nor experienced in fullness.

So I'll start ... I've been through many storms in my life, and I'm guessing you who are reading this, have been through some as well. Although I had many storms, I still considered myself as very blessed, as mentioned. Throughout my life, everything worked out for me. Friends, Intelligence, Abilities (Athletic,Social,etc.), Girls, the list continues. Apart from the storms that occurred in my own home and some minor bumps along my road outside of my home; I never really had difficulty in life.

Everything came easy to me, and my life was easy to live. This explanation is not to sound egotistical, just bluntly honest. I was never really a follower, and being the extroverted individual I am and was, always provided me in positions of being my own conductor, in which others came along for the ride (if you get what I'm saying). In the eyes of many others, I would assume , others would say that everything worked out for me throughout school and other social networks in life; being blessed. But, true friends are hard to come by, people change, and you can have 100 people who love you/praise you/or are friendly with you but not have one true brotherly friend ... and I feel that there is some truth to that through out my own life.

I had a unique heart. I was always kind,caring and compassionate but looking back at it all, I loved who I was in a bad way. I lived off who I was, what I was, and my ego; In a sense I was my own God, in my eyes. I lived to "Be the Best" -- in everything. I lived off of "being the man", or "getting girls", or "getting laughs", or "being respected", or pretty much "what society tells us, is the life and who we should aim to be ... the Top Dog".

But through my experience and at the end of the day ... I was still empty ... because nothing around me was truth, or real, not the people I associated with, dated, or was friendly with. My life didn't make me a "better person" but in reality, at times ... probably worse. Maybe I'm wrong, but alot of people are just a facade, and I can see that clearly through my experiences with others. The way I was, was very real, and that's scary because in comparison to what Jesus was, my life was very contradictory. I can say this though, all the "good" things in my heart and in me, they are of God, his hand print throughout my life. All the good things I ever did, looking back, were really just Him, working love and "Kind" acts through me. Likewise, all the selfish, messed up stuff I did ... for my glory ... that was me. That is the double nature of human beings.

Meanwhile ... I was the kid who was always smiling, very cheerful, a joker, confident, and happy-go-lucky. I felt like I had this "double nature" (and even today, the battle between my new nature in Christ and the old nature continues, which I'll speak about in one of my future blogs to come). On one side I was caring, understanding, compassionate, loving, joyful, the works. On the other side I was selfish, prideful, boastful, egotistical, arrogant, blunt, Napoleon type person. And then there was the side of me that straddled the line separating the two sides.

This concludes part 1 -- The double nature -- Love of God vs Sinful man

(I've been really sick this past week, so I apologize for the wait, I plan on giving a detailed version of my testimony, followed by a summary of events, just to hit home my testimony in under 8-10 sentences) (part two -storms- is already in editing mode)(Thank you for your patience, and if your confused or have questions on something, please get a hold of me, or leave a comment)